NoShame

To be a Nobody, Shamelessly. 

I am writing from my home town right now, surrounded by the magic colours and lights of the quasi September season.
If you were born at the seaside, you will understand that the weeks about to come are the most intensely charged with the essences of the summer season.

I recently came across a great Ted Talk from Witney Thore, “Living without Shame” and it opened up a similar reflection on myself.
Since I came out from the corporate world and in some sort became a free agent and an entrepreneur, the need for marketing myself has become important.
Get invited to speak to events – the more important and crowded the better -, be in this or that list, get your name on that famous influencers crowd and so on.
I also did write a book, soon to be published, in Italian, more on an opportunity that was presented to me than on a project born on my own willing, but still..

 

Recently, as many of us on the quite time of summer, I centered myself a bit and try to set up my next goals, not the tactical ones, but the more fundamentals and I realised my judgement is clouded, essentially by shame.

 

We need a step back here.

 

We all have superior capacity to reinvent ourselves in ways that are often unexpected.
I don’t want to get stuck in something simply because life pointed me at it and I happen to have found a decent space in it. I want to explore, to be bold, to create, to help, to give back, to change lives – mine included – for the better, to have impact, to learn constantly.
On of my dearest friends recently wrote me : ”I feel like I am living in a self perpetuating bubble, a discourse that feeds in its own hype leaving everyone on a low calorie diet…”
We do work in the same industry and I am lucky to have her in my life as a friend and as a soulmate. These words are a very thoughtful way to express this feeling as well.

 

So, back to us.
Here comes shame.

 

The shame of being a newbie, of not being at the center of some business radar, of simply not being seen.
As a result, you become a more or less conscious slave of that shame, in some case performing as a grotesque personage doing anything you can to be on the front stage, but in a trickier way precluding yourself to think, do and learn things that would – perhaps – enrich you in a deeper and more fulfilling way.
I want to get rid of every inch of that shame, of every nuance of that.

 

This is not money versus fame versus becoming Mother Theresa type of debate, in case someone misunderstood me.
This is about goals, self empowerment, true energy, loving what you do, and be brave enough to face what distracts you from becoming the best possible human being you can become.

 

I am reading this book – the first in a long time, as I usually devour blogs, short notes, documents and video, must admit – and it’s called “Breaking the habit of being yourself” written by Joe Dispenza.
 It’s a very intense book, and one of the chapters that fascinated me the most of is the one talking about the very common obsession of “being somebody” versus the “being a nobody”. Opposite to what common sense would tell, “being somebody” is a slavery feeling. Because it lets reality (or your perception of it) define you, whilst the state of “being nobody” stands for that self-centered mindset that allows to create your own reality, the person you want to be, with a limitless set of possibilities that you need to steer towards the directions you set, for yourself.
I have not finished the book, because I am reading at the speed that allows me to digest it, but that discourse resonates a lot to me.

 

Am I lost or desperate ? I don’t think so. I don’t feel so either.
I wanted to share this awareness or at least the beginning of it, of the necessity to let go that “being somebody” perception of myself because I want to be greater than that. I want to be shameless in re-thinking constantly my own reality, so that I can become that reality.

 

I hope this post makes sense to a few of you reading, but even if it doesn’t, I really felt I had to share this new beginning, if nothing else to try to put my words around it.

 

Stay tuned
Matteo

One thought on “To be a Nobody, Shamelessly. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *