NoShame

To be a Nobody, Shamelessly. 

I am writing from my home town right now, surrounded by the magic colours and lights of the quasi September season.
If you were born at the seaside, you will understand that the weeks about to come are the most intensely charged with the essences of the summer season.

I recently came across a great Ted Talk from Witney Thore, “Living without Shame” and it opened up a similar reflection on myself.
Since I came out from the corporate world and in some sort became a free agent and an entrepreneur, the need for marketing myself has become important.
Get invited to speak to events – the more important and crowded the better -, be in this or that list, get your name on that famous influencers crowd and so on.
I also did write a book, soon to be published, in Italian, more on an opportunity that was presented to me than on a project born on my own willing, but still..

 

Recently, as many of us on the quite time of summer, I centered myself a bit and try to set up my next goals, not the tactical ones, but the more fundamentals and I realised my judgement is clouded, essentially by shame.

 

We need a step back here.

 

We all have superior capacity to reinvent ourselves in ways that are often unexpected.
I don’t want to get stuck in something simply because life pointed me at it and I happen to have found a decent space in it. I want to explore, to be bold, to create, to help, to give back, to change lives – mine included – for the better, to have impact, to learn constantly.
On of my dearest friends recently wrote me : ”I feel like I am living in a self perpetuating bubble, a discourse that feeds in its own hype leaving everyone on a low calorie diet…”
We do work in the same industry and I am lucky to have her in my life as a friend and as a soulmate. These words are a very thoughtful way to express this feeling as well.

 

So, back to us.
Here comes shame.

 

The shame of being a newbie, of not being at the center of some business radar, of simply not being seen.
As a result, you become a more or less conscious slave of that shame, in some case performing as a grotesque personage doing anything you can to be on the front stage, but in a trickier way precluding yourself to think, do and learn things that would – perhaps – enrich you in a deeper and more fulfilling way.
I want to get rid of every inch of that shame, of every nuance of that.

 

This is not money versus fame versus becoming Mother Theresa type of debate, in case someone misunderstood me.
This is about goals, self empowerment, true energy, loving what you do, and be brave enough to face what distracts you from becoming the best possible human being you can become.

 

I am reading this book – the first in a long time, as I usually devour blogs, short notes, documents and video, must admit – and it’s called “Breaking the habit of being yourself” written by Joe Dispenza.
 It’s a very intense book, and one of the chapters that fascinated me the most of is the one talking about the very common obsession of “being somebody” versus the “being a nobody”. Opposite to what common sense would tell, “being somebody” is a slavery feeling. Because it lets reality (or your perception of it) define you, whilst the state of “being nobody” stands for that self-centered mindset that allows to create your own reality, the person you want to be, with a limitless set of possibilities that you need to steer towards the directions you set, for yourself.
I have not finished the book, because I am reading at the speed that allows me to digest it, but that discourse resonates a lot to me.

 

Am I lost or desperate ? I don’t think so. I don’t feel so either.
I wanted to share this awareness or at least the beginning of it, of the necessity to let go that “being somebody” perception of myself because I want to be greater than that. I want to be shameless in re-thinking constantly my own reality, so that I can become that reality.

 

I hope this post makes sense to a few of you reading, but even if it doesn’t, I really felt I had to share this new beginning, if nothing else to try to put my words around it.

 

Stay tuned
Matteo

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Scattered Chronicle of the last Eight Weeks

There is a reason why I have been silent for the past eight weeks. Not that I am presumptuous enough to think anyone noticed that, but sometimes I remember this is my way not to loose touch with the rest of the world about what’s happening to me, not to mention the fact that my kids one day could potentially wonder what dad was doing beside coming and going with his trolley. (as a side point, I think the noise of the luggage wheels entering the house and getting out will probably be the most remembered sound related to Dad they will ever have).

To start with, we did run two great FinTechStage events in May, Milan and Amsterdam (which explain why April was quietly upgrading to an hectic time, because – of course – shit happens and you need to deal wit it). We can safely say both events were successful, from what we could gather from the partners, the sponsors, the audience and the speakers. On thing we have to do better is find a smart way not to loose all the good content FTS is bringing to the different eco-systems.

I will shamelessly point you guys to an amazing post my friend Daniel Gusev (who spoke in Amsterdam) wrote about the event, and I can only be grateful for being so exhaustive and thoughtful in creating this.

We do have ideas on how to capture the fil rouge of all the events we do, and build services around it, and you will hear about it very soon.

I also spent a week in San Francisco (beginning of May) with everyone at Omidyar, in my first ON Summit.

Amazing experience: I went there thinking I would be amongst the very few knowing only a handful of people, and realised there the organisation has grown so much in the last twelve months that at least three dozens of people were there for the first time as well! I am very humbled to be part of such a group, not only because of the mission we share, but most importantly because it s constant reminder – for me – of a different way of building businesses, empowering people, both with for profit and not for profit initiatives, and it was overwhelming as well to realise the spectrum of activities ON is involved with, some of which really triggered a whole new world.

Let me give you an example: I discovered what the Property Rights division does. To be fair, as well WHAT Property Rights even means. Had no idea that over a billion people are concerned by the fact that there is no proper and factual record of their properties (land, houses, etc) with all the terrible consequences that such a matter has on their lives. ON is amongst the few organisations in the planet investing resources and research power to tackle this global issue, where of course technology has a great role to play (think of drones to assess land perimeters, etc).

Immediately after that, I spoke both at the CGAP annual meeting and et ICT Spring Luxembourg, two events fortunately for me overlapping each other but making these three days particularly intense, especially because  in the case of the CGAP event (CGAP is an Independent policy and research center dedicated to advancing financial access for the world’s poor) I discovered a whole new network of organisations driven by the same mission (make the world a better place, for lack of a better definition).

It does not happen very often I go to a conference where I don’t know a single speaker, and almost never where I don’t meet someone I have seen before in other place. Well, this time – no doubt – was an exception on all of it.

Another important part of last weeks activity flipped around the work ON is doing in defining an investment thesis on Digital Identity and what it s called the Me2B space. A simple way to explain the latter is how can we put the user (the customer, everyone of us, in other words) in control of his own data and find new economics around the sharing of these data with potential suppliers of services that de facto – today – are getting it for free. I am writing this post from London, where we are visiting a number of players in this space and craft the right strategy around it.

Lastly, I am writing a book,(yes, a book)  in Italian, about FinTech, that will be part of a collection produced by the Bocconi University (I think, this is what I have been told). I am just mentioning it as this is what definitely filled up all the little spare time I usually take to write my posts. Book is almost over, only two chapters remaining, will hopefully tell you more before the really summer starts. Summer starts the day I go to Sestri Levante, of course, before then it s just normal busy time in a short sleeves black t-shirt instead of long ones!

Stay tuned

 

Matteo

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